Hot Sci-Fi Babes: Part 1, The Humans (Revised)

The rule for SF advertising had long been that the cover of a book, magazine, or movie must have a bug-eyed monster (BEM), destructive robot, or mad scientist threatening some curvacious woman, preferably blonde, whether the story actually included such a threat or such a woman. Nonetheless, there are many stories that DO include a curvacious blonde being threatened by BEMs, robots, or mad scientists. So here's a few that I like (not necessarily blondes, though . . .).

Simone Griffeth as Annie Smith (Death Race 2000)--As the mechanic/lover of David Carradine's epically enigmatic "Frankenstein," she is a slender, seductive spy trying to kill him. Her acting is what you'd expect for a Roger Corman flick, but she sure is nice to look at, and you get a lot of opportunities! The trailer for the remake of this is pretty crazy. Not only have they sunk a ton of money into stars and special effects, but they're actually trying to make the thing make sense!

Radha Miller as Carolyn Fry (Pitch Black)--At the very beginning of the movie, you know she didn't get her piloting job as a result of her skills! Not normally my type, she shows what the right clothes and camera angles can do for any figure. Unfortunately, she also starred in Silent Hill, which no amount of cheap champaign could make tolerable.

Sigourney Weaver as Tawny Madison (Galaxy Quest)--Yes, I know she's the star of the Alien movies, but she can't be listed here for them for two reasons. 1) She is flat-out unsexy in them and 2) before I saw the first Alien movie, I read the Alan Dean Foster novelization. In the novelization it describes how people came out of the sleep pods completely naked and how Lambert is really sexy, neither of which turned out to be true in the movie, and both of which I still bear a grudge over. But Sigourney Weaver can be sexy, in Ghostbusters or here, 15 years later. (not to mention The Ice Storm!).

Anne Francis as Alta (Forbidden planet)--Ya gotta love a classic, and Anne Francis may be restricted in what she can show of her bod, but she does everything else to be sexy: skinny dipping, trying to get healthy stimulation by a little hugging and kissing, and wearing skirts so short they would constitute an OSHA violation in the modern workplace. If she was beaming me, you can bet there's no way I'd waste time giving myself an oil job!

Penelope Ann Miller as Dr. Green (The Relic)--Miller made a sensation as the sexy stripper in Carlito's Way (a personal favorite), but in The Relic she shows how sexy she can be with her clothes on. Not only that, she's a top-notch evolutionary biologist! And she bikes to work! Let me at her!

Since he passed on this week, I'd like to take a moment to note how Stan Winston's creature made this flick, not just scary and cool, but sexy, too. When Miller is caught with her back against the cage, waiting for the elevator, the creature comes up very close, but doesn't attack. Instead, it slathers her with its long, slimy, forked tongue. There are just some things that even the best CGI can't accomplish.

Natalie Portman as Amidala--Lucas definitely botched some things about Portman's character in the Star Wars films, but her part in the closing sequences of the second film are just about perfect. Not only does she have a totally retro mirrored rocket, but her onepiece bodysuit is so Buck Rogers! And so her clothes have to be torn in just the right way. And the way she handles a gun! Classic pulp stuff!

Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia--Also knows how to handle a gun, as she shows us in her first few seconds on the screen. And knows how to fall when stunned. I've always been a fan of her archetypal white outfits. Plus, the has a large nose, which gives her a natural, woman-on-the-street appearance I find very appealing.

Oh, and I forgot to represent a childhood favorite:

Maren Jensen as Lt. Athena (Battlestar Galactica): A Zeta-Jones-esque face, curves not even a Colonial Marine uniform can conceal, sassy attitude and a tool belt to boot! How could I forget?