Last issue Entertainment Weekly put celebrity bikini fatigue on their bull's eye. My initial response was: You've got to be joking. Then I looked at the pics and said, yeah, I'm tired of them. But still it isn't fair to discard the whole celebikini season on the basis of a couple of ladies that nobody really wanted to see that much anyway. They really need to be taken on a case-by-case basis.
So here's my guide to some of the celebrities hitting the beaches this year, a few representative swimsuits, and my personal fatigue level with each of them.
AnnaLynne McCord: Extreme Fatigue.
She's EW's poster girl for bikini fatigue and I've gotta agree. I think this is the first time I've seen her in a bikini, but I sure as hell don't care about her. And look at her chipmunk expression. Take her away!
Kim Kardashian: Heavy Fatigue.
Do I object to high heels and a bikini? No, sir, I do not!
Do I object to wearing makeup while playing on the beach? No, sir, I do not!
I love the eye-mystifying design on this swimsuit. I keep hoping it's like a magic eye and if I unfocus my eyes just right it'll disappear.
To this plastic photo shoot I do object. Take it away!
Gemma Atkinson: Heavy Fatigue.
If she looked like she did in the photo shoot for her calendar, I might not get tired of her, but she went pale blond and her skin seems so pale and a little less fit. She looks fatigued herself.
Jennifer Connelly: No fatigue.
She's older than a lot of these other women, but she looks great. And she has personality and talent. I wouldn't mind seeing more of her, especially if she wears bikini bottoms that are a little less weird.
Katy Perry: Ambivalent.
Her music is really damn annoying, which is a good argument for why she should spend more time on the beach in a bikini. And she looks pretty nice, but would it kill her to smile once in a while?
Marisa Miller: Gimme More!
Honestly, how can you possibly get tired of Marisa Miller in a bikini? She is the perfect California Girl. Sun-freckled face that has character, sun-bleached hair, and a great bikini body. Idyllic cleavage, hourglass curves, and--wait for it--an awesome curvaceous ass.
Bar Rafaeli: Gimme More (beach pics)!
Rafaeli is, I think, one of those women who gain/lose weight in their breasts first. Candids on the beach often show her with pretty big breasts, but when she is modeling they seem much smaller. And I know it's not just photoshopping (as if they'd shrink her breasts), because I've seen her in a couple interviews where she looks really small.
Kelly Brook: Gimme More, Much More!
I dunno why I never get tired of this girl, but I don't. Soft, curvaceous, feminine, I just love her body. And these pics offer some pleasant surprises.
I would even say she looks pretty cute fully clothed!
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1 comment:
I will never, ever, ever fatigue of Ms. Miller!
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