Beer Babes

Men love beer. Sure, there are a few who don't, and every now and again you'll meet a woman who actually really likes beer, but, by and large, beer is a man's world.

And if you're going to sell to men, what better way to do it than with picture of a beautiful woman, right? So for years the big breweries have put out posters and made commercials with hot chicks in them, but that doesn't matter. You can put all the gorgeous swimsuit models you want on your posters and it won't make me buy your beer (with one exception, see below). The only women that can sway my decision to buy a beer are the ones printed on the beer bottle itself. These women are inextricably linked with the identity of the beer, and I enjoy them sometimes as much or more than the beer itself.

St. Pauli Girl

St. Pauli Girl is the classic beer babe. Even before the label became extra-cleavagey and declared that this was "Germany's fun-loving beer," you knew it by the girl's disheveled hair and rumpled outfit, the exuberance of her stance, and, of course, her inviting smile. Here is a woman who loves giving beer to men as much as they love taking it from her.













So, what do you guys think is the best, the blonde, the brunette, the lager, the dark?














Pete's Wicked Strawberry Blonde


This is one of the first beers I bought by the six- or twelve-pack, back when we had our regular poker games running. I picked it because of the label, but found it a good, accessible beer for someone who was not an experienced beer drinker. I haven't had one in years. I wonder what it'd taste like now?













Hard Tail

Hard Tail has a really awesome logo, probably the only one I've seen to so brazenly feature a woman's ass. A really sweet view. I actually bought a glass of this beer because of the cool retro pinup posters they had in the bar, and the logo didn't hurt, either. It's a pretty small outfit, so it's hard to find their logo to reprint here, and probably even harder for you to find the beer. Don't worry, you're not missing much. Of course, it's a biker beer, and maybe we just don't agree what a beer is supposed to taste like.
















Shmaltz Brewing Albino Python

This is my favorite beer babe. Sensual. Mysterious. Cleavagey. And what is she going to do with that python? Besides, this is the only one of these beers I would recommend as a beer. It's good stuff, even if you don't like this sort of thing, which I don't. As the label says, "Surrender to temptation. Seduce and be seduced." I wish you all the joy of the worm.













And I can't wait to try the sword swallower, which sounds more like my type of beer.













And the Mermaid Pilsner, just for the heck of it








Any recommendations for good beers, especially with beautiful babes on them?