Penthouse: An Encounter with an Old Friend

I recently had occasion to look at the most recent issue of Penthouse, and I was delighted to see that it was the same old magazine I'd grown up with. I was concerned, thinking that with the pressures of the marketplace, the magazine that I considered to define the very limit of softcore (you can show all the anatomy, and even simulated sex acts, but not actual sex acts) might have taken the plunge into hardcore. But it hadn't, even though their website sure promotes the magazine as hard-core. Instead, it had all the hallmarks I remembered from Penthouse growing up--articles about sort of interesting subjects that if they were not as well-researched as Playboy articles, they also weren't as incredibly loony as what passed for articles in Hustler--pet photo spreads focusing on a single woman, and a lesbian photoplay (this time they were camping!) And, of course, the hottest section of all, the Letters, where readers write in to describe their oh-so-true-to-life sexual adventures.

I also worried that the magazine, which introduced me to the incredible, startling, beautiful variety of women's genitalia had started selecting women with more homogeneous anatomy, but to my delight they had not. Instead, the women were just as variable and natural as I remembered them. Kudos, Penthouse.

And in celebration of diversity, let's take a look at the Great Wall of Vagina, a celebrated artwork dedicated to helping women understand the full range of "normal" genitalia. A good start, but nothing like the thousands that Penthouse has put on display.



(Also, I'm allowing a little space here so anybody who is not interested in a canvas of cooters can opt out before damaging their delicate eyes.)

Catsuits in Science Fiction

Surely you've all seen this super-hot promo poster for Iron Man 2, featuring Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow in the skin-tight "catsuit." Although I hope it does not betoken so horrible a movie as her equally (if not more) sexy promos for The Spirit, I couldn't help but be as excited about it as everybody else, and looking at pics of some older catsuit costumes I realized how common the image is in science fiction. In fact, a little research revealed that of the 50 Sexiest Costumes list assembled at Den of Geek, a full 17 of them were catsuits, including Johansson's uninspiring outfit for The Island. (Rumor has it that she wanted to wear a really sexy costume--i.e. go topless--but Michael Bay talked her out of it. I don't think I believe that, but I'm always looking for new reasons to cast scorn and ignominy on his head.) 17: More than one-third. More than leotards, bikinis, loincloths, and togas combined.

If you took a look over there, you might object, "Hey, those are jumpsuits!" Which begs the question of the distinction. Frankly, as near as I can figure, the only real distinction is that catsuits are skin tight, while jumpsuits are a little loose. But if we're honest with ourselves we'll admit that even the most unassumingly baggy jumpsuit on a male actor somehow becomes skin-tight for his female co-stars, with the net effect of every jumpsuit becoming a catsuit, and that we like it that way.

So, first a few of my favorites, then an explanation for why they are so common.

See more in my posts on redheads, superheroines, catwoman, and humans and aliens in sci-fi.

And an incidental pinup from my favorite contemporary pinup artist, Andrew Bawidamann, who may be slowly turning into a crazed neo-Nazi gun-nut, I don't know, but I do know he still draws some pretty sweet chicks.
Now, why catsuits/jumpsuits are so popular in science fiction. Part of it is, I believe, a way for moviemakers to have their cake and eat it too, to simultaneously say, "Look, the women are liberated" (they're wearing pants), while still putting everything on display. Also, unlike loincloths, bikinis, and togas, jumpsuits are not reminiscent of any prior era, making them more able to be "futuristic." Unless, of course, you count the 70's, during which time they probably thought they were on the cusp of something really big. ("It's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.")

Robogeisha

In case you haven't seen this, well, you really need to. I saw this trailer like last summer, and I've felt I was doing the world a disservice by not sharing it.

There's a moment in this trailer when even the writer is at a complete loss for words, which is saying something, considering all that has come before.

The Coolidge Effect

This is just a principle of evolutionary biology that everybody ought to know, based on a funny anecdote:

Supposedly, one day Mr. & Mrs. Coolidge were doing a publicity tour of a farm, going around and being shown all the cool things while making a statement about agriculture. At one point, the couple got separated. A farmer, bold as brass, shows off the prize rooster to Mrs. Coolidge, boasting that it can have sex dozens of times a day. Mrs. Coolidge, duly impressed, said "Tell that to Mr. Coolidge." When the farmer tells the president, he is also duly impressed, but he asks, "With the same hen?" to which the farmer replies, "Oh, no, lots of different hens." Mr Coolidge smiles and says, "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."

Remarkably, Coolidge is one of the few presidents whose name is not marred with accusations of adultery.

Movie Review: Anita (Swedish Nymphette)

This 1973 exploitation flick tells the story of a nymphomaniac girl (Anita) who is forced to leave her small hometown because she has slept with every man in town, and once she sleeps with them, she can't stand the sight of them. So she goes to the big city where there are plenty more men to have sex with in janitor's closets and tents set up on the street near construction sites. But in the city, a young psychology student (Erik) knocks her down and then picks her up to help discover the source of her problem and seek a cure, after asking his prof if he can "do her" for his dissertation, which the prof says is fine, but he should make sure not to sleep with her until after she's cured.

It's not at all uncommon for exploitation flicks to masquerade as serious movies, but this one really struck me as a good movie about sex, although it falters toward the end, as many do. In particular, the movie succeeds because Christina Lindberg (seen here in my post about noses) wonderfully conveys the tidal pull of the addict. In particular, there is one scene that I think will resonate with any person who struggles with compulsive behaviors (like, oh, I don't know, masturbation). Anita, having just picked up a man at the train station for sex is weeping in the borrowed room when an old glassmaker comes up to get his share. Taken aback by her tears, the glassmaker sits down beside her, and she spills out how much she despises herself for doing what she does, then proceeds to unzip his pants and get on her knees.

Erik tries to talk Anita through her problem by making her see her self-worth and strictly refusing to have sex with her, despite the fact that he has fallen completely in love with her, but his words are worthless. It seems that the cause of her nymphomania is her complete inability to have an orgasm, and to be cured, she must experience one, which becomes the driving force in the second half of the movie.

The medical aspect of the movie seems pretty ludicrous to me, and I suspect it's counter to anything a modern-day sex therapist would recommend, but nonetheless I felt this movie was actually quite compelling. It's not a hardcore flick--there are no gynecological shots or steam piston sequences. The numerous sex-scenes are kept brief, even without nudity initially. The nudity increases as the movie goes on, with Anita slowly revealing her body as she bares her soul, which is nice because Lindberg really is a beauty.

A good movie, recommended for anyone who is interested in serious movies about sex. If it's not as "fun" or fast-paced as some other exploitation flicks, it also steers around the use of sexual violence. There is no rape in the movie, which contributes somewhat to then entire movie's overall sense of innocence that is a great part of its charm.

Functional MRI Detects Schwing Center of the Brain

Ever wonder what part of your brain lights up when you see a pretty girl? Turns out it's the nucleus accumbens. Where is the nucleus accumbens? you may ask. It's in the forebrain, right hemisphere (which explains why there are disproportionate numbers of left-handed jerkers). The nucleus accumbens is one of the brain's main "reward centers," the places that make you feel good. In particular, the nucleus accumbens has been linked with the reward that goes along with drug and alcohol use. So, all this time, I thought liquor and looking at hot chicks were two passions, but it turns out they're the same one.

Here's the link to the study, which was published in the same venue that brought us bat fellatio:

http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0009042

A couple of notes about the study. Ostensibly, the researchers were trying to test the significance of the 0.7 Waist-to-Hip-Ratio (WHR), and their title claims that they have. But, if you actually look at their results, you see that they correlated nucleus accumbens activity not with the WHR, but with subjective attractiveness ratings, which, for this sample of 14 American men (mean age 25 with a standard deviation of 6.3) happened to correlate with a 0.7 WHR. Personally, I'm a firm believer in the 0.7 WHR. I know, at least, that it pushes my buttons (that and a great pair of knockers), but I'm unsure about its universality.

On the other hand, I do agree with the statements of one of the researchers, "This research explains things like sexual harassment and whistling at the hot girl in the street. These findings could help further our understanding of pornography addiction and related disorders." If seeing a hot chick really does push some of the same buttons as drugs or alcohol, we might expect some of our higher cognitive functions to be suppressed, including good judgment and inhibition. This effect could also be heightened in an otherwise testosterone-rich environment, such as a male-dominated workplace.

I'll close with some random stimuli:

Making the World a Better Place

I'm sure there are many people who think that I am a hedonist devoted only to the study of carnal pleasure, but really Stately Pleasure Domes is devoted to a number of important causes. First of all, of course, is saving boobs:

And we remind women that regular self-exams are crucial to the early detection of cancers and pre-cancers. This can seem like a chore, but a little bit of baby oil will help your hands glide smoothly over your breasts. It's also a good idea to enlist a spotter who can help you perfect your technique and make sure you don't miss any spots: "Slower over the nipple, that's it, circle it again, just to be sure." (PS-be sure to check out the "making of" video. You get to see Aliya-Jasmine in her glasses. Not only is she hot, but she's cute and smart. After all, not only did she direct the PSA, she WROTE IT, too. Every word.)

Animal rights is another cause I completely support. After all, I am an animal. And I believe that we should all reduce our meat consumption and our use of animal-derived products so we can end cruel factory farms. I also support many of PETA's campaigns, including "Cruelty Doesn't Fly."



Not to mention its various "I'd rather go naked" campaigns:

And its lettuce bikini campaign:
A noble effort, indeed. It could have been better if a) they'd designed the bikinis a little better and b) they'd taken advantage of the opportunity to slip a veggie dog in there. But, still, the "respect" tattoo peeking out there is classic.

There are some who criticize PETA for sacrificing women's bodies to make the case for animals. I can see the point, but there are a lot of women with really great looking bodies who want to contribute to a cause. Not all of them are as smart as Aliya-Jasmine and can actually WRITE a PSA. Unlike animals, the women participating are doing so of their own free will. They could be getting naked to advertise a product that profits from cruelty to animals, but instead, they are using their assets in a positive way.

But the cause that's nearest and dearest to my heart is Global Orgasm for Peace. Make love, not war. Every day, in every way.