The Naughty Librarian

Naughty librarians happen to be one of my favorite fantasies, and I am by no means alone. The trope makes regular appearances on our buddy blog, The Larryville Chronicles. Here are a couple more examples:

Note that in the costume the skirt is made out of books, albeit without any too creative selections: Moby Dick, of course, the Joy of Sex, and The Scarlet Letter.

Anyway, this past summer Quentin Tarantino gave an interview with Elle magazine where he attacked the trope, saying, "If someone is inhibited in life, they tend to be inhibited in bed. If they have judgmental rules in life, they'll have judgmental rules in bed." On the one hand, yes, he's attacking one of our most treasured fantasies, but, on the other hand, he's not telling us anything we don't already know. And knowing it's not true gives power to the fantasy.

But the naughty librarian is not just any fantasy, she fits into a paradigm that is man's answer to the Cinderella complex. Whereas many women imagine that one day the perfect man will ride up and sweep them off their feet into a world of perfect romance, that he will love and care for them unfailingly into eternity, men have a different complex. Many men imagine that they will ride out into the world and discover a woman in whom they will awaken an unsuspected and insatiable sexual desire, a woman that will fill their days with endlessly variable, endlessly exciting, and tireless sex.

The naughty librarian, by virtue of beginning as a symbol of the proper, unreachable, and asexual that is then corrupted into a lusty voluptuary, reenacts this essential fantasy. Consider, for example, the beginning of Horny Licking Librarian:

"It was Polly Prentiss’ first day on the job. The newly appointed head librarian of the exclusive and private Hardwick School knew she ought to keep her mind on her work, but it was difficult to ignore how horny she felt.

She’d never had this problem before. Polly had always been so wrapped up in her career that she’d never had time for men and sex. Then, at twenty-eight, she’d decided to treat herself to her first real vacation, a Caribbean cruise. And on the cruise she’d gone to bed with a man for the very first time. Just a few love-making sessions with Mark Wells, and she was hooked on sex."

(Quote and image courtesy of xNovel, "classic adult novels for free")

And then, of course, Polly goes on to be the titular naughty librarian.

Although I agree with Tarantino in fact, in spirit I am more akin to Borges' narrator in "The Library of Babel": "I pray to the unknown gods that a man--just one even though it were thousands of years ago!--may have examined and read [her]. . . . Let heaven exist though my place be in hell. Let me be outraged and annihilated, but for one instant, in one being, let Your enormous Library be justified."

The G-Spot Controversy

Some British researchers yesterday released one of the biggest bombs in sexual research in the last decade, stating that the G-spot does not exist. This after significant research in recent years that have claimed to have isolated both a biochemical marker (the presence of phosphodiesterase type 5) and a physical characteristic (thicker urethrovaginal space) that correlate with women's reports of experiencing vaginal orgasms related to the presence of the G-spot.

Do I believe this new study, soon to be published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine (where you can also read about "Design and Application of a New Rat-Specific Vacuum Erectile Device for Penile Rehabilitation Research")? I do not, although I must admit that I haven't read the article or even its abstract.

The study surveyed 1800 women, making it the largest sample size of any study on the G-spot ever conducted, which is in its favor. The study took pairs of identical and non-identical twins and asked them if they had a G-spot. Researchers rationalized that if there were a physical G-spot, then there would be a higher degree of correlation between identical twins reporting G-spots than between non-identical twins, but they found no such correlation. Therefore, they report that the G-spot is likely only a psychological phenomenon and not a physical one.

Here's what I believe are the flaws in the survey. First, although twin research is a widely-accepted method of establishing a physical vs. psychological distinction, it's not flawless. Although twins are genetically identical, they can (and often do) develop differently, with many lifestyle factors influencing their physical development.

Second, it's just a survey, and it depends on women knowing about their G-spots. Just because a woman has one doesn't mean she'll have sexual experience of it, and the survey didn't take into account the numbers and types of partners that twins had, which can make a big difference in their subjective experience. Once you take this into account, the study only says that women's experience of their G-spots is subjective. I'd be more convinced if the study were more comprehensive.

Third, I'm not sure but the researchers seemed to be setting out to establish that there was no G-spot, and I'm always suspicious of science that merely confirms what the researchers already believed. Some of the quotes from the researchers show them to be anti-G-spot advocates.

Personally, I am convinced that all women have some of the physical characteristics of the G-spot, although not all women are capable of orgasm through G-spot stimulation. Not all women who are physically capable of G-spot orgasms know how to do it or instruct their partners to do it. Even fewer women are with partners who are capable of stimulating the G-spot during intercourse.

But it doesn't matter whether you or your partner is capable of G-spot orgasms, there's still a nearly infinite universe of sexual pleasure to explore. So whether you are among the lucky few who enjoy this conjugal bliss or whether you are not, fuck on and ignore the research!