Skirts

The skirt is an inherently sexist piece of clothing, so much so that it became a sexist metonymy for woman. Why do I say this? Well, let's look back in history.

At one time, men and women wore pretty similar garments on their bodies. One reason for this was that people didn't have the material or the know-how to make complicated garments, so the easiest thing to do is just wrap a bit of cloth around you. But there's another equally practical reason. People didn't used to have toilets, so they pretty much squatted down wherever they were to let loose their bowels. Having used squat toilets, I discovered something: pants are completely impractical. Trying to put your pants down around your ankles while keeping them out of the line of fire is really difficult. Much easier is a skirt or sarong or whatever that you can just tuck up out of the way.

And just as the skirt allows an easy flow of matter out, so it also, possibly, allows easy access from the outside. Skirts are designed to make women sexually accessible, to help promote them as possible sex objects.

With that understanding, I have to say that I love skirts. And really not for the reason that I just gave. What I like about skirts is the way they amplify the motion of a woman's hips. Sure, tight pants can show off a woman's ass to good effect, defining each cheek and emphasizing the offset of their motions, but a soft skirt of light material changes every step into a shiverous tidal wave of voluptuousness. Short skirts are okay, but often when they get short, they get rigid, and they transform a woman's walk into a mechanical tilting back and forth with no fluidity.

And it's impossible to talk about skirts without mentioning the automatic speculation about what women might or might not be wearing underneath. And the subconscious glances men cast about to try and catch a glimpse of that which would otherwise be concealed. This does not mean that we're all perverts with mirrors or cameras on our shoes--far from it. Doing something like that is not only ungentlemanly, but it also takes all the fun out of it. Seeing up a woman's skirt is like a sunshower on a hot summer's day: unexpected, arresting, and invigorating. And it's just as innocent.

Think about Marilyn Monroe in The Seven Year Itch, and how innocent and flirty her relationship with with Tom Ewell is. That's the level at which skirts excite men. Playful and pure, they conceal while holding out the promise of revealing the mystery that is woman.