Where to Meet Chicks 4

Church

Call me a Romantic--or something--but I treasure the notion that inside every primly quiet church girl is a soul lusting for lust. Oh, she denies it--not least of all to herself--but she is a storm of passion: you bring the thunder, and she'll supply the wind and water.

Okay, so that's probably just me, but church is still a very good place to meet women. There are many single women looking for a man, because that's what they've been told will make them happy. And maybe you can be that man. And maybe you can make her happy, although truth be told a man's about the last thing that'll make a woman happy. And we know it, too, but that doesn't stop us from trying, sometimes really hard, especially when they look at you with those hazel eyes and you realize that the purpose of a man is to love a woman.

Christian churches hate to see women remaining single, so once you establish yourself as an upstanding member, they'll practically throw women at you with numerous supervised social events that can springboard to unsupervised social events. Or else they'll lure you to an underground lair where they hook you to a milking machine. Depends on whether the church is in the Kansas or Missouri mode.

Advantages: Time: not only do you have the entire sermon to survey the crowd for prospects, but if you can't work up the nerve this week, there's always next week. Plus, it's easier to look the slightly bad boy in this crowd.
Disadvantages: If you're not the marrying type, this may not be the place for you . . . Also, make sure you're prepared to keep coming back for the rest of you life (not to mention afterlife).
Classic pick-up lines: I never cease to be amazed at the beauty of God's creation. Did you know that lustful souls go to the second circle of Hell? That's practically Limbo!