The Bar
Bars get a bad rap as places to meet people and hook up, but the bad experiences come about because nowhere is a greater cross-section of society brought together in an atmosphere designed to reduce social distinctions, encourage people to have a good time, and engage in ill-advised (often sexual) behavior. Sure, there are biker bars and hippie bars, frat bars and yuppie bars, but as our good friend Nog has shown, a well-behaved individual can go to any bar and mingle freely with the population as long as he doesn't show contempt for the other patrons and respects the unwritten rules of the bar.
Despite the dismal experience of the Larryville Experiment, I still contend that if you talk to enough women (not just ogle them suggestively), you'll meet someone with whom you have some level of common interest and may also be available for a relationship. And in the meantime, you can have great fun talking to girls you have nothing in common with and have no hope of getting anywhere with, but who look great, smell nice, and either have something interesting to say or want you to take pictures of them simulating lesbian sex acts with with a friend.
Unfortunately, because of its reputation and because too many people are too eagerto "seal the deal," the bar atmosphere can be stressful for everyone. Relax, focus on getting to know her, and have one less shot of courage before starting the conversation, and your chances are much better.
Advantages: Alcohol increases sexual excitement and depresses her judgement. Someone is checking IDs at the door.
Disadvantages: Alcohol increases your sexual excitement and depresses your judgement. You could be being an ass and not knowing it. Once inebriated, it's hard to control your wandering eyes.
Classic Pick-Up lines: They've all been used. Hone your favorite at home to give it a personal touch and just the right edge. Then forget it.
American association of cancer researchers
3 years ago
14 comments:
Bars can be dangerous. To paraphrase Sam, the more you drink, the cuter I look. Who wants that?
Another infamous comment, made by yours truly at the Replay: I'm never going to meet a guy at a bar. Then, someone pointed out that I was at the bar, hence I should refrain from judging the clientele.
Bars have only proven to be the sites of bad decisions for me...but others fare better, I'm sure.
Right: it's best to save your contempt for the patrons for later (on blogs).
Red, I believe it was that wise sage Matt Clothier who defended the clientele of bars.
Also, the Experiment wasn't truly dismal. After all, we all got drunk (and Dr. C. almost rode a party bus!).
If bars are such shitty places to meet people, why the hell do people pack into them every night of the week? People are drawn like moths to neon, not for the witty banter, incisive social commentary, desire to elevate their social status - that's what they have Gossip Girl - they're there to get there grope on, and hopefully be groped in return. And that's the greatest thing you'll ever learn.
And Dr. C, this may have been the most "true" thing I've read on a blog since N.ggle's spot-on description of the Free State. Score one for truthiness!
I apologize for the lack of spell check. My number is 785-555-12"BEEP"
Sorry Nikki, it's me, Mike again, I got cut off when I was saying my number, so here goes, it's 785-555-12"BEEP"
Matt really is a sage of bar wisdom. He's right. That's why we go. But think about my final comment - bad decisions, kids, bad decisions.
Besides, bars also traffic in hope - the hope to get their grope on and be groped in return. There's no money-back guarantee on hope (or cover charges).
I miss you guys - my new bar friends are only a fraction as esoterically cool, and not at all hipsters. :)
785-555-1232. Call me. We'll hang out. Possibly at a bar
"Bad decisions"? Are we talking herpes and a love child, or just hooking up with someone you might not have hooked up with sober? Because, here's a little known caveat to the idea that drunk people have a tendency to hook up with uglier people than they would sober: that ugly person just hooked up with someone better looking than the people they normally hook up with! And, hopefully, physical stimulation was had by all!
And Red, you, like neocons everywhere, make it sound like hope is a bad thing! Shame on you, Ms. Palin!
I'm not about to campaign for change - the omnipresent buzz word on all sides right now - bars are a necessary part of my life. Plus, I'm an academic, I need hope to keep on doing this. Regardless, this entry is about meeting women...it doesn't make any promises about succeeding with women.
I don't think it's a question of aesthetics; I just think you all need to be careful not to idealize the bar hook-up. There will be physical stimulation (there better be! Why else are you doing this), there may be other joyous side-effects. However, normally, don't we all just go home alone. Chip could be reading this, and he may be disappointed. Of course, sometimes it does end well. Keep hope alive, Chipper.
Bad decisions...love child, too many martinis, a wrong answer at trivia night. It's all relative. There's a reason bars are number 8.
Not-a-neocon, but in love with Tina Fey after SNL.
This list is the best thing currently on the internet (besides free porn). With any luck, we'll all get laid by the time we reach number 1!
Wow, a lot of responses to this post. Cl.thier is right--bars have a cultural aura as a place of freedom and abandon, not just sexual, but that's a big part of it. Tina Fey is hot, but this blog, like a bar, offers no guarantees . . .
I have a guarantee...it's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in 9 countries. Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good. They've done studies. 60% of the time it works all of the time.
"I just think you all need to be careful not to idealize the bar hook-up."
Idealize? It's coming in just over the grocery store and the bus. :)
TC
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