Aphrodite Kallipygos, Plus Dr. C's (Pseudo)Science Corner

So, while trying to come up with blog topics for buttock augmentation, I came across the Aphrodite Kallipygos, who inspired me to write a series of blogs starting with "Does this Peplos Make My Butt Look Big?" about the appreciation of large buttocks in Western culture. I always knew that the Greek notions of what makes a woman attractive were ass-centric, but this statue of a woman lifting up her peplos to check out her own ass is classic.

Also interesting: a psychologist in Britain claims to have developed a formula for determining the aesthetic value of women's butts. Here it is:

(S+C)(B+F)/(T-V)

Where S is shape (highest rating: like a small peach), C is circularity (pair of pink grapefruits), B is bounce (doesn't quiver during aerobics), F is firmness to touch (latex-coated cricket ball), T is texture (like a baby's), and V is vertical ratio (like a pert pair of breasts). Apparently, the ideal number is around 80. Obviously, this is somewhat subjective, so it isn't really "scientific" (but when is psych ever?), but next time you go out to the bar, you can go up to a woman and tell her, "I'm trying to calculate the perfection of your ass, and the last data point I need is firmness to touch. May I?" See how that goes over.

This research is a nice complement to the breast biomechanics department at Portsmouth University. Let's hear it for the Brits!